How SHE Asked: Girlfriend Surprises Her Man With A Dreamy Proposal
How She Asked
“I’m going to have soft music playing in the back, you think the camera click will be loud even with music?”
“oh noooo, that’s perfect! So I can capture everything then!! :))”
Monday 9:04 AM
“I am sooooooo nervous!”
“Haha awww don’t be!! So we’re for sure making this happen today yes!!?”
Monday 3:09 PM
This was the conversation I had on Monday, September 3rd 2018.
Kimberly, the soon to be bride and I, were texting back and forth to plan out how exactly she was going to propose to Javier; the future groom.
The night before I actually ended up receiving this random direct message from Instagram, where Kimberly asked if I’d be okay with capturing a “non-traditional” proposal.
Of course, traditional or non-traditional, the love someone has for another that leads them to take the next step towards marriage, is always worth a good photo session in my opinion.
I accepted the offer, and we ended up meeting at a coffee shop with my girlfriend, who apparently was already good friends with Kimberly.
What happened next was honestly life-changing.
What was supposed to be a 30 min or so meet-up to go over how we would plan this proposal, ended up being a 2 hour + heart to heart conversation about love, dating, her inspiring journey with God, marriage, family, and Jesus.
No way, can this blog post accurately describe the power and value of a little “meet-up” we all had together that day.
Although, I hope that through these images and story behind everything, you’ll get a better understanding of why Kimberly chose to propose to Javier.
Let’s talk about this setup. Absolutely beautiful, right?
I really wish you could see this spot just the day before. Kimberly completely set this up, getting pretty much everything from Hobby Lobby.
As you can see, there is a plate with a wine glass and bread, and to the top-right side of the photo, a small basket with a towel and water.
One of the reasons that Kimberly shared with me of why she wanted to propose to Javier, was to be able to show him how much she:
a. appreciates the magnitude of servitude he shows her
b. the seriousness and dedication to how much she will serve him equally for the rest of their lives together
The small basket is where Javier would place his feet and Kimberly would wash them. This is something Jesus did with his disciples to show the very same thing.
One of the reasons that make Jesus so unbelievably loving is his dedication to serve humbly. As the son of God, he could sit on a thrown and look to everyone else as inferior, though he leaves us with the perfect image of what love looks like; sacrifice and service, not demand and authority.
Just as much there are women probably reading this with all kinds of emotions, from hatred to confusion, Jesus received the same reaction for not only washing his disciples’ feet, but many acts of unconditional service and kindness to others throughout his ministry.
It’s what we’re called to do as Christians. We are here to live in this world, but not live like the world. This means many ways of life will not only look entirely different than the average person, but many times receive opposition.
Kimberly spoke about Javier as a mixture of her real father and Jesus mixed together. Javier is the type of guy to run to the door to open it for her, while grabbing everything out of her hand at the same time, so that she’s free of carrying any weight.
Sometimes Kim hates it because she feels like he looks like a slave.
But in all honesty, that is just someone who truly loves you beyond limitations, conditions, and worldly stipulations. It’s the kind of love I pray that every woman fights to be patient for.
So, she hates it, until she realizes, this is what love is all about, and why wouldn’t I do the same for him? It doesn’t have to be a one-way street. Marriage is about serving and that doesn’t mean just the men to the women but both to each other. - Kimberly
This entire setup is on the back porch of Kimberly’s home. She blind-folded Javier and walked him through the back-yard, up the stairs to this paradise of love.
You might also be wondering why there’s black lines or slight smudges all over these images. It’s not a bad case of using an old film camera or me trying to start a new filter-editing trend.
I actually had to shoot from within the kitchen, out to the back porch where they were, and behind the door that leads to the back porch. I tried a few times to slightly open the door, but the only challenge was, because of how lit the area was from the candles and Christmas lights, you could still see me from inside the crack of the door. Also, the door makes noise when you open it.
In the end, we actually all loved the “paparazzi” even more intimate vibes that gave off in the photos.
What it is you’re looking at is Kimberly and Javier performing an act that Jesus also did with his disciples.
As they were eating, Jesus took some bread and blessed it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, “Take this and eat it, for this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.
If you are not Christian, understand this isn’t an act of eating Jesus like cannibalism or drinking his blood like a vampire.
This act performed with His disciples was a symbolic representation of the new covenant in remembrance of Him. Sharing the meal and drinking together, the body and blood of Jesus, was a beautiful picture of our unity with Christ and one another as believers.
It reminds us that each of us is able to live and grow spiritually because His body was broken on the cross and blood was shed for our sins.
I always say, there’s no such thing as falling out of love when your relationship’s foundation is Jesus. This entire proposal is a reminder of the sacrificial love of Jesus, and the serving heart it takes to love as He does.
I would highly encourage you to evaluate what your strongest love language is. The number one reason why most relationships fail is because of a lack of communication. Finances are second, but because of a lack of good communication, couples don’t know how to talk about their finances in a non-combative way.
Javier wanted to wash Kimberly’s feet first, but Kimberly said no. She wanted to wash his feet as she planned. Although, afterward, she allowed him, knowing that his love language is acts of kindness/service.
Imagine if they never communicated their love languages and Kimberly took away Javier’s strongest ability to show love, especially at such a dreamy and intimate experience like this.
By the way, Javier still had no idea that Kimberly was going to propose to him. They are both deeply rooted in their walk with God, and he thought she was just being an amazing, Christ-loving, fun girlfriend.
Such an incredibly beautiful opportunity to even just be a part of this proposal.
A man who doesn’t have his identity of “manliness” wrapped up in his ability to propose to his woman first.
A woman who is so confident in her relationship with God, willing to sacrifice, serve and get uncomfortable to show how much she loves her man, instead of caring so much about what the world would think or what society has painted love to look like.
Nowhere in scripture does it say that a man must propose to his wife. Nowhere in scripture does it say a man must pursue women.
The Bible specifically talks about the spiritual roles of a man and woman’s relationship in the eyes of marriage, the man being the head and loving his wife like Jesus loved the church. This has everything to do with holiness, humbleness, respect, sacrifice, and servitude. Everything Jesus represented when it came to the church.
When Paul writes in Ephesians that a woman should submit to her husband, he’s not talking about whatever the world deems as “manly” in a relationship the woman shouldn’t do; A wife must be the one to cook and clean, not the husband.
If you’re Christian, remember that reading scripture is about context as much as it is about guidance. We must pay attention to the facts of Who, What, When, Where, and Why’s of scripture and not just dangerously infer conclusions.
Paul is actually writing to the cultural landscape in Rome of a time that Ephesian women were becoming more aggressive, argumentative, dominating, and provocative. When he writes that “wives submit to your husbands” its actually not in an oppressive, top-down hierarchy sort of way, but rather a radical act of subversive love and selflessness from the wife towards the husband when you study the text.
This blog post isn’t here to serve as an online seminary course, therefore I’d encourage you to just do more research on your own.
Although, whether you are Christian or not, the real question is asking yourself, “Who were you before the world told you who you were?”
Are you challenging the status quo and societies opinions, or just believing whatever seems safe and accepting, even with regard to your love life?
I’m not here to say whether or not you as the girlfriend should propose to your boyfriend, or you as the boyfriend should wait until your girlfriend proposes.
I’m just here to say, what does true love look like to you and your partner, are you willing to really fight for it, and are you really willing to show each other.
It is clear that scripture saying that the husband is the “head”, first of all, isn’t speaking with regards to dating, but speaks about a husband’s duty to “love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.”
So, before you conclude that your man should not be the one cooking, cleaning, helping with laundry or proposing, because that’s not manly or God said he shouldn’t, you should spend time getting to know each other’s love language and serve each other equally out of love in the way God designed you to.
Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ
For you women out there who dare to love radically different than the world, humbly, without limitations from society, and the focus on servitude and kindness, I genuinely thank you. My prayer is that you not be afraid to take the basket off your light of how to love like Jesus loved his people and to honor your men out there going above and beyond, not because he’s a man and needs a trophy, but “because of your severance for Christ.”
Javier and Kimberly’s family all finally came out of hiding, and of course he had no idea that their family and I were there the entire time.
Kimberly’s dad came out to pray over their next monumental step in their relationship and the night ends with an amazing, hispanic, and big-family dinner.
Congratulations to Kimberly and Javier
In the end, love one another in a way not governed by your gender, race, people’s opinions, pride, selfishness, or fear.
In the end, love one another unconditionally by sacrifice, servitude, and no limitations.
- Myles Berrio